Daisy Bryant note:
Your organization as well as your content is very polished all ready and I personally wouldn’t make any major changes to either of those areas. The one big thing that I would recommend doing is adding more in terms of linking nursing specifically to all the points you make (I listed some places linking nursing would fit well above) which should also boost your word count which should kill two birds with one stone for you. Other than that there are only relatively small transitional errors that you could fix as well as an argument that you started to make that you dedicated one sentence to than decided to move on. Your thesis looks pretty solid but after adding the extra nursing material and your other changes I would go back and look at it again and see if you can make it fit the rest of your paper even better.
